Relatively Horrid
by SpelCastrMax
Summary: Mainframe suffers from an aunt infestation.
1. Guess What!

Relatively Horrid by SpelCastrMax  
  
Disclaimer: Reboot belongs to a company in Canada. I've never been to Canada, but I do know a guy from there. When he lived there, his name was Michelle. When he moved here his name was Michael, so his parents had another child-a girl-who they named Michelle. So, technically, he and his younger sister have the same name. This is why I've never been to Canada.  
  
Let's just say this fic takes place in a Reboot Fantasy Land where season four actually HAD an ending (I'm not bitter) and it included Bob and Dot starting over.  
  
Chapter One: Guess What!  
  
Bob couldn't help feeling a little nervous. True, he and Dot had been friends through the happiest and hardest moments of their lives, including Dot's engagement to Megabyte. However, after the capture and containment of the virus, things started to go back to they way they used to be. Whenever Megabyte would escape, the group would go after him in the casual, almost game-like way they did before the Web World Wars. Okay, so there were some major differences to it all, for example the fact that there were two Enzos AND Megabyte's Trojan Horse abilities did complicate things. Still, somewhere amongst the virus chasing, User battling, and peace treaties between the older and younger versions of Enzo Matrix, Dot began to forgive herself for all her mistakes. It took longer for Bob to convince her that, yes, he had been hurt, but he had forgiven her almost the moment after it all happened. Megabyte tricked everyone, including him, so why should he be angry when he understood her wish to return to the better times.  
  
So, at last they had made it to another level-they were on a real date. It seemed a little silly after everything they had been through, yet, as Dot put it, probably a good step in the starting over process.  
  
They sat on a bench in Floating Point Park, the way they used to back before every crisis came crashing down over them, and just talked.  
  
Dot was smiling contentedly as she asked, "You know something, Bob, you never talk about your family."  
  
Bob whistled at the thought of his relatives. "Trust me, you don't want to know about them," he replied, "I'm probably the best thing to come out of my family."  
  
"Then they must be really bad," Dot teased.  
  
In mock insult, Bob shouted, "Hey! Just be happy you never have to meet any of them."  
  
"Bob, how bad can they be? I mean, everyone's family gives them trouble. Look at me. My brother has a copy, so now I have two brothers who are only now starting to get along. The family pet doesn't even really belong to us. My almost sister-in-law is a game sprite. My dad is a nullbot. I had a virus calling me 'sister' for a time. One of my closest friends is a hacker slash mercenary. Only grandfather figure I've ever known is Phong. And my boyfriend is a 'living on the edge' Guardian who lied to me when we first met."  
  
"It was just little lie. I was practically a Guardian then," Bob defended, then his eyebrows rose in realization, "Hey, did you just call me your boyfriend?"  
  
Dot shook her head as she continued to smile. "Bob, you're missing the point."  
  
"Okay, okay. So, everybody's got problems. It's just that these sprites are really random," he argued.  
  
"C'mon Bob." She stared up at him with her sweetest expression.  
  
At last the Guardian sighed in defeat. "Fine. Who do you want to hear about first, my aunts and uncles or the second generation of nuts."  
  
"What about your parents?"  
  
"Oh, they were alright. They were both guardians like me. No, it was my relatives you had to look out for." He held up a finger as if he was counting them. "First of all there's my oldest cousin who had his name legally changed to Radno after he woke up one morning. He claimed that the User spoke to him in a dream and it was his new programming to rescue nulls from large bodies of water."  
  
"Next, there's his sister, Jewel. Ran away from home when she was 1.1 to join a circus where she is known as 'The Amazing Jewel and her Case'. Basically the whole act is her pulling things out of a bag and then piling them on her head while making corny jokes."  
  
"The twins would be next on the tree. They are the babies of the family and think they can get away with almost anything. I once caught them trying to steal data files from the Guardian Academy."  
  
Dot rose her eyebrows this time and sighed, "It could be worse."  
  
"Worse! Oh, worse is coming. I haven't told you about by Aunt Trudy yet." Bob lead back against the bench, relaxing the way he used to in the diner with his arm stretched along the back. "She's a hypocrite and old busy-body for start. And she wears the most annoying hat. It's covered with these little fuzzy balls that look like pixels landed there to die."  
  
Turning her whole body so as to listen better, Dot caught a glimpse of someone behind them wandering around the other side of the park. "This annoying aunt of yours, what does she look like?"  
  
"Um...it feels like minutes since I had to talk to her last, but I doubt she's changed much. She's overweight and wears a lot of bright colors. Like half of my family she has blue skin and hair like mine..." Pausing, Bob realized that Dot had his attention on something that wasn't close by. She was trying not to laugh, but couldn't help allowing a smirk to sneak out. With a sickened tone, the Guardian commented, "My aunt's here, isn't she."  
  
Dot laughed and turned his head so he could see what she was looking at. He released a long breath of relief as he saw that she had been watching Enzo and Matrix playing with Frisket.  
  
Nearly collapsing against her, Bob scolded, "You nearly drained me from worry. Don't ever do that again!" He sat up once more and decidedly added, "In fact, I think you need to be punished."  
  
"You wouldn't dare," she challenged.  
  
Bob reached out to grab her, but Dot was practically sprinting to be out of his reach. The two didn't even bother to throw down their zip boards as they playfully chased each other through Mainframe. Spectators just smiled and shook their heads, all a little surprised that Dot was finally being so carefree.  
  
As the pair rounded Bob's apartment building for the third lap Guardian 452 decided it was time for this game to end. He called out, "Glitch, tongs." The keytool changed into what he had requested and gently caught Dot's wrist, preventing her from running any more.  
  
"That wasn't fair," she complained, trying to shake off the cold metal around her arm, "I should have seen it coming, but it still wasn't fair."  
  
Glitch beeped and pulled her closer to Bob. Judging by the expression on his blue face, Bob didn't expect the keytool to bring Dot right up in front of him. The tongs changed into a cable that loosely wrapped twice around the couples' waists.  
  
"What are you doing, Glitch?" Bob, dumbfounded, wanted to know as he realized that his trusty (but broken) tool was tying him and Dot together.  
  
Dot inspected their situation. "This is different," she told Bob, glancing suspiciously into his face.  
  
"Hey, don't look at me. I didn't know..." Bob dropped his head, then gave in, "Okay, Glitch. I get the point. Now will you let us go?" The rope uncoiled and retracted into the box on Bob wrist. He shrugged apologetically to Dot. "Glitch has been a little...emotional ever since..."  
  
He watched the commander's eyes fall with shame. Bob wished he hadn't brought it up. He wrapped his arms around her and wouldn't let her go until she smiled.  
  
"I know, I know," Dot recited, "Not my fault and it's time to get over it." She rested her head on his chest and faced the entrance of his apartment building. A little round woman wearing the most hideous hat Dot had ever seen was inspecting the front door as if she were going to purchase it. "Uh...Bob...I think your aunt is here."  
  
"Dot, that's only funny once," he groaned.  
  
He leaned his head down to rest atop hers and the two stood in a comfort. That was when he heard the loud, high pitched words shout at him, "Bobby Boy! Is that you?!"  
  
The Guardian acted as if a bomb had gone off. He was completely at attention, his hug on Dot changing to a protective shield as he faced the one sprite he could have gone his entire life without seeing again - Aunt Trudy. 


	2. Aunty Dearest

Relatively Horrid by SpelCastrMax  
  
Disclaimer: Not mine  
  
Archieving is cool but please ask first. (MaxVaughn@juno.com) Thank you.  
  
  
Chapter Two: Aunty Dearest  
  
Bob tried to keep his cool as the woman approached them. "Aunt Trudy, what are you doing here?!"  
  
"That's a fine hello for your Aunty, Bobby Boy," she scowled as she thrust her face at him expectantly.  
  
With a loud sigh, Bob leaned down and kissed her cheek. Aunt Trudy then turned away in order to pick up the suitcase she had left by the door of his apartment building.  
  
"Bobby Boy?" Dot whispered.  
  
The Guardian glared a little as warning not to ask. He tried to lift the bags, but was pulled over from surprise at finding how heavy they were.  
  
Aunt Trudy turned to the green woman who was trying not to laugh. "And you are?"  
  
With her usual diplomatic composor and charm, she introduced her herself. "Dot Matrix. I'm pleased to meet you."  
  
Trudy looked Dot up and down. "So, you're Dot. Bob used to write about you all the time...that is when he did write to us. You're that business sprite with the diner, right? Didn't you two have some huge fight...oh, but that was so long ago it's probably forgetten by now."  
  
In order to change the subject, the Guardian pointed out, "A lot has changed since my last letter. Dot is the Command.com of Mainframe now."  
  
"Hmm, really." Aunt Trudy glanced around her and added, "This really is a small system isn't it. I doubt you even have a decent hotel."  
  
Dot's eyebrows narrowed, but curbed her temper. "Actually, it's one of the finest hotels in three systems and I'll gladly show you where it is."  
  
"Hmm," Trudy said again, "My cab is waiting just around the corner."  
  
As the biddy started on her way, Dot turned to Bob. "Which fight was she talking about?"  
  
Bob struggled with the suitcases, piling them into his arms and praying to the User that his legs didn't give way. "It's hard to say. I complained a lot about you back then."  
  
With an insulted "hmph" Dot followed his aunt to the awaiting taxi. "Hey!" Bob called out with a squeak in his voice, "Isn't anyone going to help me with these?!" The cab driver was the only one to come to his rescue.  
  
They set up Aunt Trudy in one of the best rooms, hoping to avoid any more of her complaints. She checked everything for dust and even sat on the bed like she was testing it. "Sufficiant enough, thank you," she said (even though no one had asked for her opinion).  
  
All the while, Bob and Dot sat patiantly, quietly discussing how agrivating this sprite was becoming.  
  
"I told you she was bad," the Guardian hissed.  
  
The Command.com turned to him with sympathy in her eyes. "At least she's not staying long. But next time I ask about your family, don't tell me anything."  
  
  
Aunt Trudy clapped her hands for attention. "Were you two even listening to me? I swear, you always had your head in cyberspace, Bobby Boy. Will you stop starring at poor Ms. Matrix like that! People are going to think you're in love with her and we both know that's impossible."  
  
Bob's face grew an expression that was a mixture between shock and anger. He looked like someone had just smacked him with a fresh fish.  
  
Aunt Trudy was removing her fuzzy coat, oblivious to her nephew's new protective stance that seperated her from Dot. "Long distance relationships rarely turn out well," she pointed out."  
  
"Long distance?" Bob repeated, now completely perplexed, "Aunt Trudy, I live here. I see Dot everyday. I practically live at her place. The longest distance there's been between us was when I was lost in the web."  
  
Trudy laughed, "Bob, you are so absent minded. Did you forget that you're coming home with me?"  
  
Dot had also risen from her seat at that point. Both sprites shouted out, "What?!"  
  
The aunt made a "tsk" noise and in a tone one uses when scolding a child, she responded, "You did forget. Bob, you really are the most exsaperating young man. I really don't know what we're going to do with you."  
  
"Wait, wait. Just hold on a nano!" Bob requested trying to remain calm, "Aunt Trudy, I don't know what's going through your head, but this is my home now. It has been for many cycles and I don't have any reason to come back. I'm happy here...well, most of the time and.."  
  
"No reason! Well I like that. Doesn't even remember a promise he made to his own family. Well, I just happen to have it in writing." She began to rumage through her handbag, at last producing a folded, official looking document and handed it to her nephew.  
  
Bob's eyes scanned the paper. His shade of blue seemed to pale as he turned to Dot and said, "This is bad. Very bad."  
_______________  
Oooh, a cliff hanger. Can you stand the suspense! Well, you're going to have to because I'm going to Disneyland for the weeked and I'm not going to be riding teacups and posting fan fic (that's just silly). Thanks everyone for your reviews and I'll have the next chapter up within a week!!!! 


	3. Hey, this isn't a chapter! It's an auth...

Author's Note: Okay, I know I'd say I'd update in a week, but something came up that has delayed me from doing anything fun or creative. Namely, the Spring semester of College. Math bad. So, I'm just giving this little update to tell everyone that the next chapter is for the most part written...but I badly need to edit it. So hang in there and thanks to everyone for reading my stuff.  
  
Dot: Excuses, excuses!  
  
Author: Pardon me.  
  
Dot: Stop thanking them and just post the thing!  
  
Bob: Yeah, you left them hanging. You at least owe them something more than whining about math.  
  
Author: What do you know about it? You're fictional.  
  
Bob: Low blow.  
  
Dot: That's beside the point. You should at least give them an estimate of when you'll be posting the next chapter!  
  
Author: But I don't know when that'll be. I still have to post the last chapter of my Mummy fic you know.  
  
Bob: Are you saying you like Brendan Frasier more than us!  
  
Author: No, I'm saying that I haven't any time for anything lately.  
  
Dot: I never have time and I run Mainframe and HAVE A SOCIAL LIFE.  
  
Author: (grumbles) What social life?  
  
Dot: I heard that!  
  
Matrix: Has anyone seen Gun?  
  
Everyone: No!  
  
Matrix: Sheesh, what's everyone so touchy about? Oh, hi author. You gonna post the next chapter?  
  
Author: Okay! Everybody go away!  
(to reader): my apologies. I'll have the next chapter up soon. 


	4. Auntzilla's Destruction & The Coming Att...

Relatively Horrid by SpelCastrMax  
  
Disclaimer: Not mine  
  
Achieving is cool but please ask first. (MaxVaughn@juno.com) Thank you.  
  
FINALLY A NEW CHAPTER!!!! (sorry for the delay people, let me just put my excuse to you this way:   
college midterms + friend/homework filled Spring Break = No time/no sanity  
AHHHH!!! I just did math!!!!  
  
Chapter Three: Auntzilla's Destruction & The Coming Attack of MekaKingGramps  
  
Bob looked over the paper several times. "Aunt Trudy, I made this promise when I was a little sprite. This really shouldn't be held against me..."  
  
"So you are going to back down on your promise," the woman snickered, "I should have known. You were never very good with responsibility."  
  
The man let out an insulted noise, then held back his comeback, replacing it with a more logical argument. "I have responsibility here. I'm a Guardian. I have to mend and defend my home."  
  
"No, you have to mend and defend your family just as your grandfather has been doing for cycles!" Trudy realized that she had snapped and glanced at Dot expectantly. "Would you please excuse us, Ms. Matrix?"  
  
Bob took Dot's hand as a silent command not to leave. "I have a family here. Besides, Gramps has been doing fine. There's no point in forcing him into retirement." The Guardian paused, forcing a smile at his aunt and setting the paper in question into her hand. "Why don't you rest? We can talk about this later." He lightly kissed Trudy's cheek, then took Dot with him as he exited.  
  
"What's going on?" Dot demanded to know when they had walked all the way to the diner without a word from Bob. She placed her hands on her hips as a warning.  
  
Bob grinned at her in hopes of changing the tension in the atmosphere. "I promise I'll tell you everything later, but for right now I don't want to think about it. Okay?"  
  
Before Dot could answer, the younger Enzo came running from the diner. Following him in a more calm fashion was the much larger Matrix and petite AndrAia.  
  
"How's the date going?" the game sprite asked.  
  
"We were interrupted," Bob told them sheepishly.  
  
"I didn't hear any game cubes land," Enzo commented.  
  
"Was it Megabyte?" Matrix growled.  
  
Bob shook his head and muttered, "I wish."  
  
After Dot told the others what had happened, they all began to bug Bob about what his family wanted him for. When their questions melded together in a loud din, the Guardian threw his hands in the air. "I'll tell you all later, okay. Right now...I think I should go talk to Phong." He kissed Dot on the cheek, then left his friends to stand and wonder.  
  
In Phong's office, Bob gave the old sprite the same story Dot had told, managing to avoid what it was his family wanted him to do. "And now my aunt is holding this contract over me that I signed when I was younger than Enzo...little Enzo that is."  
  
Phong tapped the ends of his fingers together. He pondered a bit. Then he thought. When he was done thinking, he began to wonder. By the time the wondering was complete, he had almost forgotten the point of the story. "Hmm. My son, my only suggestion would be to rip up the paper and wait for them to forget about it."  
  
"Trust me, it won't help," Bob said as he slumped in his seat, "My whole family copy and patses everything. They don't just forget."  
  
"I see," Phong replied, "Then my only answer for the moment is find a way to send your aunt away from here."  
  
"Great idea. Do you have any catapult commands?"  
  
There was a knock on the door. Before Phong could ask who it was, Aunt Trudy barged in. "Bobby Boy, I heard you'd be here. I just thought I'd let you know that I vid windowed your grandfather. Maybe he can talk some sense into you."  
  
"Gramps! Here?!" Bob squeaked, "No! No, no, no! Aunt Trudy, he could...what if he...no."  
  
"Oh, don't be silly. His temper is not nearly as bad as it used to be," she laughed. Expectantly she cleared her throat.  
  
Although clearly upset, Bob remembered his manners. "Right. Sorry. Phong this is my Aunt Trudy. Aunt Trudy, this is the city mentor and my friend, Phong."  
  
Trudy turned to Phong with forced politeness. "I'm very sorry for taking him away, but you know how it goes. Family first."  
  
Phong nodded to humor her. "Of course. However, family can be in the eye of the beholder."  
  
"R...right." She glared a little understanding completely what Phong was trying to tell her and choosing to ignore it. "Well, I've got to be off! I have to plan for your grandfather's arrival."  
  
"So do I," Bob muttered. With a quick word of good bye to Phong, he raced back to the diner where he had to do some quick preparation for his friends. He had to at least make sure the locks on the diner were still working properly. If anything, he and the others could hide out from Gramps in there until old sprite got fed up and left. That, of course, meaning he hadn't succeeded to break any of the windows. Bob had a lot of work ahead of him.  
  
____  
Sorry it's so short. The next chapter will have more happening including the arrival of "Gramps" so "Stay Tuned"! 


End file.
